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My Renaissance: A Journey Beyond Convention

Writer's picture: Josh WaldhornJosh Waldhorn

Updated: May 9, 2023


Josh Waldhorn, "NO DEAL!"

As a young boy, I had the pleasure of hobnobbing with the grown-ups in the wings and green rooms of various theatres throughout the UK, while my father prepped for his next show or my mother directed hers. At the tender age of 10, I found myself gallivanting around the English countryside with the kids of a group of artists and performers from Welfare State International (explorers of large-scale celebratory performance art), bounding across misty moors in the guise of an elk spirit. I even graced the London stage alongside my dear old dad in the fabled 1981 production of Waiting for Godot. And if that wasn't enough to fill my young life with the extraordinary, I also spent countless hours with my bosom buddy in Amsterdam, laughing uproariously over porn mags, puffing away on the occasional joint, and making the acquaintance of the city's most famous ladies of the night, who all knew my friend by name!


But as we all know, life doesn't always keep up its fantastical facade. When I was 11, my parents parted ways, and I was called upon to be the man of the house, pledging to care for my mother. From a young age, I'd been given free rein over my self-expression, leading to a life of accelerated emotional maturity and creativity. But then, I hit high school, and everything changed.


The very rigid boys’ school brought with it a stark contrast of predetermined expectations, a conveyor belt leading straight to the halls of Oxford or Cambridge, where doctors and lawyers roamed. I felt like a square peg in a round hole, constantly battling to fit into the mould that my new society demanded of me. My creativity was squashed, and limiting beliefs took hold, fostering a fear of failure and criticism. The unique identity I'd crafted for myself in childhood faded away.


The path was clear: university followed high school, with no room for reflection on what I truly wanted from life. So, I wound up studying zoology and biochemistry, floundering in subjects I had no passion for. After just a year, I dropped out of uni and landed a gig as a Junior Designer, working on iconic film posters for a Soho-based production company. It was a breath of fresh air and a return to my ‘free spirited’ people.


But before long, I got swept up in the conventional trappings of life, getting hitched and raising a family, accumulating debt and compromising on my dreams. I was content, but not fulfilled. And 20 years later it hit me - a conventional life was not meant to be, and my wife and I grew apart. I needed to break free of society's conventions, get out of our rut and live life on my own terms.

Rather than descending into the drama and animosity expected of a divorced couple, we clung to our original promise of living life on our own terms, parting ways with graciousness and kindness, and remain best friends to this day. Now, middle-aged with grown up boys, I've rediscovered the Josh I lost touch with so long ago, living life by my own rules once again. I'm determined not to waste a single second of my precious time on this planet, taking risks and continuously stepping out of my comfort zone to avoid the trap of unfulfilled potential and regret. I don't care what others think or say, as I boldly pursue my dreams. And let me tell you, it's been quite a journey. I online dated like a man possessed, made big moves towards my dream of becoming an actor, produced extraordinary theatrical events, climbed some of the highest mountains in the world, appeared on a reality TV show and now live with a wonderful lesbian who has become my best friend and mentor in all things female! My life is a renaissance, a work in progress that I refuse to allow to slip back into the humdrum. I want to feel alive for the rest of my life!


I've learned that life beyond convention is not a destination, but a journey, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let the deceptive comfort and security of convention dictate the terms of my life. So, take risks, break free of convention, and live your best life! Because, as they say, if you never go, you'll never know!

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